<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A green heart by MagicBiscuit</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520798">A green heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicBiscuit/pseuds/MagicBiscuit'>MagicBiscuit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Genei Ibun Roku #FE | Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aromantic, Aromantic Itsuki, Gen, Kiria swears once, Learning and Improving, One Shot, One-Sided Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:28:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicBiscuit/pseuds/MagicBiscuit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Itsuki was quite different from his peers.</p>
<p>He just wished other people could understand that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A green heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What?"</p>
<p>Itsuki could feel his throat dry up as he stared at Tsubasa, shocked.</p>
<p>She was one of his closest friends, but right now she seemed like a stranger. Her usually pale face was bright red because of a blush. Her blue eyes were fixated on her pastel blue shoes, only occasionally flickering up to meet his. She was wringing her hands over and over again.</p>
<p>She opened her mouth and spoke again.</p>
<p>"I said I like you Itsuki, in a like-like kind of way."</p>
<p>The uncomfortable knots that had already been forming in Itsuki's stomach grew larger as they twisted and turned. He felt sick.</p>
<p>He didn't dislike Tsubasa. She was one of his best friends! But right now he felt like they lived in different worlds. How? Just how? He'd seen girls at school behaving like that and guys trying very hard not to do the same. He always saw himself outside of that debacle, though. It would never happen to him nor did he want it to.</p>
<p>Tsubasa kept shooting him nervous glances. God, she probably wanted some kind of answer from him didn’t she? Itsuki swallowed hard. Tsubasa was his friend, one he cared for deeply, but romance? Those kinds of emotions were not ones he ever felt.</p>
<p>Itsuki forced himself to look at her. She looked so nervous, just like some girl in a romantic drama. He took a deep breath. All Itsuki could really do was mimic what he'd seen on those very same shows. Itsuki turned his eyes to the ground as he tried to keep his voice steady.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Tsubasa."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door clicked open for what felt like the umpteen time. Kiria's footsteps became louder and louder until they stopped right next to his bed. Itsuki felt something cold land on his shoulder.</p>
<p>"I got you the ice cream that you wanted."</p>
<p>Itsuki groaned as he slowly came out from underneath his bed cover. He'd said he wanted ice cream as a means to send Kiria away. He didn't expect her to actually go out and get some.</p>
<p>Kiria smirked at him. "I got strawberry, vanilla and chocolate." she said, "Ellie once told me that in her mother's country there's an ice cream that has all those flavours in one box. I thought to replicate it."</p>
<p>She lifted the cotton bag off him and turned towards the rest of the mess that was his apartment. It had been messy for what felt like years now. Kiria didn't seem to care, though. She just gave him her usual aloof smile.</p>
<p>"I don't think it's a big deal. Neither does Tsubasa."</p>
<p>Itsuki sighed as he poked around in his bowl with a spoon. He'd eaten his portion and Kiria had denied him anymore. Comfort eating was bad apparently.</p>
<p>"Say that to Touma." he muttered as he dropped his spoon in defeat.</p>
<p>Kiria rolled her green eyes. "This is Touma we're talking about." She said, "He’s a hot-head. We all know that."</p>
<p>Itsuki closed his eyes shut. Touma had chewed him out after he'd rejected Tsubasa, which he had low-key expected. Ellie had some choice words for him as well. Through it all he'd felt so small. The air itself felt like it was chocking him. In the end, through all the screaming directed at him he'd run out of the office. Tsubasa pained expression was still so vivid in his mind.</p>
<p>What else could he have done in that situation? Was he supposed to lie to her and pretend to be all lovey-dovey? Wouldn't that just be cruel?</p>
<p>"I think they want to apologise."</p>
<p>Itsuki opened his eyes again.</p>
<p>Kiria had a knowing smile on her face. "You know how they sometimes act before they think. Well, I don't think they meant to hurt you despite the thoughtlessness behind their tantrums." She brought her index finger to her temple. "They both looked pretty down in the dumps last I saw."</p>
<p>Itsuki didn't quite know how to respond to that. Before he could, however, Kiria had brought something out of her jacket pocket and silently handed it to him.</p>
<p>It was a drawing, from Mamori he realised. It was the both of them as well as their mirages with the words "please get well soon" written in Mamori's very neat hand writing. He couldn't help, but smile a little at that. Poor Mamori probably didn't even know why he'd been away the past couple of days.</p>
<p>He carefully put the drawing away. Kiria still hadn't said anything. Itsuki ran a hand through his dirty hair.</p>
<p>"I'll come by the office tomorrow." He said reluctantly. "Maybe I can help Mamori with something. I need to thank her for this nice drawing after all."</p>
<p>Kiria chuckled as she got up from her chair. "Good," she said, "I'll see you tomorrow then."</p>
<p>With that she left.</p>
<p>After Itsuki had managed to drag himself to the shower and gotten clean he flopped down on his bed. He sighed as he realised he should probably change the bed clothes as well. Before he could bring himself to move again, however, his phone vibrated loudly before falling silent.</p>
<p>Itsuki grabbed his phone that was on the night side table and opened Topic.</p>
<p>It was a text from Yashiro.</p>
<p>Slightly confused and somewhat worried Itsuki clicked on Yashiro's icon as the text appeared on the screen.</p>
<p>
  <em>Aoi are you there?</em>
</p>
<p>Itsuki simply sent a question mark in reply. What did Yashiro want all of a sudden?</p>
<p>Almost immediately a little bubble appeared to show that Yashiro was typing back. It didn't take long for Yashiro to respond.</p>
<p>
  <em>You haven't been at Fortuna these past few days.</em>
</p>
<p>Itsuki sighed.</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm coming back tomorrow. Probably gonna help Mamori if she needs it.</em>
</p>
<p>He closed his eyes. Yashiro was the very definition of perfectionist and he'd taken upon himself to train Itsuki. He hoped Yashiro was simply displeased that he had been skipping out on that training. If there was more to it Itsuki wasn't sure how to handle it.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes again and Yashiro's reply had already come in.</p>
<p><em>Good</em> it said, <em>Mamori and I are doing another collab soon. You'll join us at the studio.</em></p>
<p>Itsuki flopped the phone back onto the table. For once Yashiro barking orders for him to follow felt comforting. With this he had an excuse go straight to the studio instead of showing up at the office. He knew he needed to face his friends eventually, but a detour to the studio could give him some more time to think.</p>
<p>That was something at the very least.</p>
<p>The next morning Itsuki had managed to drag his way to the training studio. Barry had greeted him cheerfully and given him some training exercises to do, but that was it. That had been such a relief. It didn't take long for Yashiro and Mamori to appear either. They were both dressed in their training attire and looked ready as they could be.</p>
<p>Mamori's face lit up when she saw Itsuki doing his stretches. "Mr. Itsuki!" she called out before running up to him, "Is your cold better now?"</p>
<p>Itsuki smiled sheepishly as he rubbed his neck. "Don't worry Mamori," he said, the lie he was about to say felt heavy on his tongue, "I'm as good as I can be."</p>
<p>Mamori seemed pleased with this answer, completely ignorant to his inner turmoil. Maybe he was a decent actor after all?</p>
<p>Yashiro walked up to them and handed Itsuki a script.</p>
<p>"Read this." He said simply as he started his own stretches.</p>
<p>Itsuki sat down against the studio's large mirror as he flipped through the pages. Mamori was playing Mamorin as usual and Yashiro was the same eccentric character again. So far it seemed normal.</p>
<p>Then something caught his eye.</p>
<p>The entirety of the episode was dedicated to quick and easy things to make for loved ones which in and of itself was perfectly fine. It was a show aimed at a young demographic so it probably meant family and friends. It was just the words "loved one" that made Itsuki remember Tsubasa and that made his stomach churn.</p>
<p>"Mr. Itsuki, are you okay?"</p>
<p>Mamori's concerned voice forced him out of his own head. She looked worried. "You look a bit pale." she said and before she could add anything else Itsuki cut her off. "It's probably just the cold lingering a bit," he said, "There is no need to worry."</p>
<p>Mamori still looked hesitant as Yashiro approached them. "Aoi, you look over the script and give input. Minamoto and I will act out our roles."</p>
<p>It was fairly straight forward. They were "discussing" some heart shaped pies that could be heated up in the microwave. There was also going to be general talk about what else one could give to your loved ones instead, like making a drawing or a card. There wasn't much for Itsuki to comment on so far. He was actually somewhat comfortable going over this.</p>
<p>Yashiro's character was in the middle of excitedly gushing about how sweet it would be to make a card when the studio door burst open.</p>
<p>All three idols turned to look at it and saw Touma, Ellie and Tsubasa panting as they caught their breaths. Kiria hung in the back. When she saw Itsuki she winked.</p>
<p>Yashiro frowned in disgust. "I don't remember asking for this interruption, Kurono" He said, annoyance very clear in his voice.</p>
<p>Touma just waved him off before straightening himself up. The girls followed suit. Much to Itsuki's dismay Ellie and Touma walked right up to him. Tsubasa hung in the back with Kiria. Ellie looked over at Yashiro. "We need to talk to, Itsuki. Go take a break or something."</p>
<p>Before Yashiro could say anything Mamori spoke; "I bet everyone was worried about Mr. Itsuki’s cold!" she said completely ignorant to how awkward the air in the room had gotten.</p>
<p>Itsuki slowly stood up and looked over at his friends. Briefly he and Tsubasa's eyes met and both were quick to look the other way. Whatever comfort he'd felt earlier disappeared. He wasn't sure he was ready for this.</p>
<p>Whether he was ready or not didn't matter though. Before Itsuki could ask them what was up both Ellie and Touma bowed to him.</p>
<p>"We're sorry for yelling at you the other day!" They both said in unison. Itsuki blinked in surprise then looked away. This was the part where should he forgive them, right? There was a bitter feeling in his chest and he knew it was petty, but a part of him couldn't really just up and forgive them just like that.</p>
<p>When Itsuki didn't say anything Touma looked up at him. "I really know I messed up," he said, "but I didn't mean to hurt you. Honestly I didn't!" Ellie looked up as well. "We were just worried about Tsubasa's feelings," she said, "I, for one, didn't imagine you would get so affected by it!"</p>
<p>Itsuki remained quiet. He was the one who had to take responsibility for Tsubasa's feelings in a sense. He knew that was the norm, but he felt chocked by it. Why did he have to be villainized for not feeling a certain way? He’d never asked for any of this.</p>
<p>He looked over at Tsubasa as Ellie and Touma stood up. After some hesitation he spoke.</p>
<p>"Do you really feel the way you do, Tsubasa?” He asked, “It's not some kind of joke?"</p>
<p>Tsubasa spooked when Itsuki called out her name. She looked over at Kiria then over at Itsuki. Her face flushed.</p>
<p>"Well, yeah, I do!" she said fumbling over her words slightly. "I would never joke about something as serious as that!"</p>
<p>Itsuki sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. What was he supposed to say to that? The air threatened to turn awkward when Tsubasa thankfully decided to continue talking.</p>
<p>"I'm cool with you not feeling the same way, Itsuki, really I am!" She stopped when Itsuki gave her a suspicious look, but quickly picked herself up again.</p>
<p>"Is there a reason why?" she asked, "Like why you're so hurt. Because if there is I want to know why! Please, tell me how I messed up!"</p>
<p>Itsuki tried not to pay to much attention to the fact that the rest of their friends were all staring at them as he repressed the urge to groan.</p>
<p>"I don't like being yelled at for not feeling a certain way." He huffed.</p>
<p>Ellie looked like she was about to speak up, but Yashiro grabbed her by the arm before she could. When no one really said anything Itsuki continued.</p>
<p>"I don't fall in love with people. I never understood why anyone else did. It's a non-existent part of my life."</p>
<p>He didn't like being petty and he felt like he was being it right now. Yet there was an ugly ball of hurt raging inside of him and he needed to let it out.</p>
<p>"Being held responsible for feelings of other people, especially when I have no way of controlling them is so incredibly suffocating."</p>
<p>He clenched his fists. "Why am I the one who had to be yelled at when I did absolutely nothing?" he asked, "Why am I the jerk in this situation?"</p>
<p>Itsuki's voice trailed off. A part of him wanted to ask if they thought him heartless, but he stopped himself. It would be better if that question remained unasked.</p>
<p>Suddenly he felt someone wrap their arms around his waist and he looked down. Mamori was clinging to him. She looked just as upset as he felt. When no one said anything Kiria walked into the centre of the room and spoke up.</p>
<p>"I'm not going to lie and pretend I understand exactly what's it’s like to be you, Itsuki." she began.</p>
<p>She then turned her attention to every other person in the room. "But what I can say is that you're not some jerk. You're definitely not responsible for other people's feelings and feeling hurt is only normal." Her eyes settled on Touma and Ellie for a brief moment before turning back towards Itsuki. "You were at the receiving end of a lot of shit."</p>
<p>"I think we all, as a group, should understand that every person is different. We all experience the world in a different way and that's great, but it can lead to us having misunderstandings."</p>
<p>She brought her index finger to her temple, signature Kiria style.</p>
<p>"I think that's normal, but I also think that when we run into those moments we should stop and try our best to clear things up. To listen and to try to understand each other the best we can"</p>
<p>"Even if we accidently hurt one another we just have to do our best to not repeat that mistake and learn from it."</p>
<p>She smiled over at Itsuki who was still in Mamori's grip.</p>
<p>"That's the most any of us can do."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Whatcha reading, Itsuki?"</p>
<p>Itsuki looked up from the book given to him by Barry and up at Touma. Itsuki gave a small smile as he gave the book to Touma to inspect. "Barry overheard us that day in the studio as you know." Itsuki said sheepishly.</p>
<p>After Kiria's little speech Barry had burst into the studio and made everyone work on a big musical number together. It had forced to mood elsewhere, but Itsuki was glad for it.</p>
<p>"He said that it might have some useful words for me in it."</p>
<p>Touma squinted at the page. "Wow," he said. "This isn't something I even imagined to be a thing." He handed the book back to Itsuki. "I'm sorry I put you on the spot."</p>
<p>Itsuki leaned back in the sofa at Fortuna's office. He did feel better after his outburst and the book Barry gave him was interesting. A lot of it was things he felt he already knew, but it was nice to have some actual words to go by.</p>
<p>"Hey, Itsuki?"</p>
<p>Itsuki looked over at Touma.</p>
<p>"What's up?"</p>
<p>"Do you want anything?"</p>
<p>Itsuki raised an eyebrow as Touma sheepishly looked at the floor. "I understand that stuff's been hard lately." He said. "So I was wondering if there was anything I could do, like to make you feel better y’know?"</p>
<p>Ellie had come in earlier and asked him the exact same thing. Itsuki chuckled as he thought over how similar she and Touma were. A mischievous thought formed in his head.</p>
<p>"You could race Ellie." He said nonchalantly. Touma gave him a look.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>Itsuki's smiled grew bigger. "You and Ellie can race each other to get me the best ice cream you know."</p>
<p>"Just for the heck of it."</p>
<p>A cocky grin slowly made its way on Touma's face. Just as he was about to rush out of the room Ellie and Tsubasa entered the office. Touma grabbed Ellie by the shoulders. "I'll race ya, Ellie!" he yelled into her surprised face.</p>
<p>"First one to get Itsuki the best ice cream wins, well, something!"</p>
<p>Before she could say anything else he burst through the transparent doors and Ellie ran right after him. Their arguing voices echoed down the stairs as Tsubasa looked after them in bewilderment while Itsuki laughed.</p>
<p>Maybe he could forgive his friends after all.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>